She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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