I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Drake has all the answers
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
