On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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