I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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