I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i love accidental penises.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Randomize
