there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i believe in u and ur pee
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
