No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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