i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
