Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Dicks are not precious.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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