Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
