I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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