she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
