How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
