My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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