Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
