I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
