This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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