Sponge bath it is.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
