I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
