dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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