Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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