fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
