Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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