i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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