Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she told me i tasted like america
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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