Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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