I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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