when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
