I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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