Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
