btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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