Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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