Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
