So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
