I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize