The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
