I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
