Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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