No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
