if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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