forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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