Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
