I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
