you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
