i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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