I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
