I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
