the day after is always just damage control
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize