Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Someone signed my nipple.
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