We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
