We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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