Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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