do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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