Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
