maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
