He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
