who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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