All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
