I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
