just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
