I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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