dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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