If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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