what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
