Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
