Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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