i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you had me at cake vodka
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize