I like to think it a success when the cops are called
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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