I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
