I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
