Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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