they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
