I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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