the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
